Maureen Wielansky Self care Expert

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What if you didn’t hate your extra weight?

What if you loved it and was thankful for it?

Until you learn the lesson that the weight has to share; it may leave but is most likely will return even bigger and harder to eliminate again.

I know that my recent weight gain had a big message and even though I knew better, I refused to listen to it or I would say ok, hurry up and tell me what is wrong so I can fix it!

It just doesn’t work that way.

The weight didn’t start to leave until I totally surrendered.

I knew that the extra weight was telling me that I was totally out of alignment with my business.

 

The scariest and most courageous action was looking in the eyes of closing shop, ending my career and admitting that I was not successful in Making It All Fit.

 

It was painful for a second, like pulling a band-aid off a wound yet it felt so good.

 

The feeling of freedom allowed the weight to leave and my appetite to stabilize.

 

Of course it isn’t that simple; I had some others events that led to this surrender and in time, I will share it.

 

So, the lesson here: If you are doing everything you can and are not finding the weight leaving, then switch your mindset into gratitude.  Be grateful for the extra weight.  Feel it.  Talk to it and then Listen……

 

Are you buried under Post it notes?

Are you buried under Post it notes?

I am ashamed….

I was a stay at home mom for 20 years and I loved it.

And I was ashamed that I loved it.

 

Society does not look fondly over the woman who doesn’t multi-task.

 

I am just not built for juggling.

 

Yes, I know that being a stay at home mom required some juggling; it stressed me out and contributed to my compulsiveness.

When my kids were young, I had a brother pass away, a sick mother who died 16 months after my brother and sick in-laws.

Not to mention a child who had just been diagnosed with Autism.

My husband traveled weekly.

I was in charge of the kids and they came first.  Thankfully, I was in the position to be able to focus on my kids; but that also meant that their dreams became my dreams.

Yet, I would still moon over the career moms in their cute dresses talking on their cell phones while they ran into school to attend some school event.

I wanted to be able to multi-task like that; but I knew I wasn’t built for it and that made me feel shameful.

Then I learned this: The mind can do only one thing excellently and 2 things average and performance goes down from there.

Multi-tasking increases illness because it places stress on your body.  Remember the body feels primally.  When you are feeling stressed about getting everything crossed off your to do list, your body believes that you are in danger and turns on the cortisol to protect you.

Yes, even something as minor as driving and chatting on the phone can put your body into stress physiology.

Doing more than 1 thing at once makes you least productive and this 2011 study confirms that multitasking impairs decision making, short-term memory and can cause weight gain!

Don’t Stress Out About Multi-Tasking Stressing You Out, Try these tricks instead:

  • Plan your day into chunks.  I have started doing this and it has changed my life.  Your subconscious mind reboots every 90 minutes so make sure you chunks are not longer than that.  During those 90 minutes turn off everything possible and focus.  Set an alarm that won’t alarm you.  It is amazing what you can do in 90 minutes when you are focused.
  • Say No first:  Stop thinking about it and say no first.  You won’t regret it I promise.
  • Plan, Plan, Plan:  Your food, your clothes, your workouts, your sleep and even your sex.  When you plan you give your mind some direction on how to help you focus.
  • Turn it off when you are driving.  I just returned from a short trip that required 10 hours of driving.  I usually am the most impatient driver but when I turned my phone on silent and concentrated on the road; I felt at peace.  You need peace.  Reinstitute the car as the no phone zone.
  • When you feel the stress boiling; begin to deeply breathe.  Your breath has the power to turn off the cortisol and turn on your rest and digest system.

 

What about you?  Are you a multi-tasker?  Does it cause you stress?  Leave me a comment below and share your thoughts.

 

 

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fitformula I have a confession to make….

 

I have been stalking Paleo.

 

You can see me following him at the bookstores, peeking at his facebook page and reading his blogs.

 

Paleo is not a person (no marriage vows being broken here!)  Paleo is a way of eating; eating as our ancestors the caveman and cavewoman ate.

 

Basically, the Paleo lifestyle consists of eating, meat, vegetables, fruits and healthy fats.  No grains, no starches, no dairy, no sugar, no processed food.

 

To be truthful., I have let go of dairy, sugar and processed food.  It is those darn grains that create the fear in me.

 

I was afraid to let go of grains because:

 

  • what if I did and then I eat them and gain a weight?
  • What if cutting out grains flips on my compulsive eating switch?
  • Letting go of grains for the rest of my life seems so extreme.

 

With this fears swirling; I decided to just let Paleo go; believing it was ok for others but not me.

 

Then I gave a workshop about fear….

 

I taught my workshop participants that fear is meant to not be faced but to be ran through.

 

When you run through your fear; you don’t just face it.  You go one step further; you take back your power.

 

When you run through your fear; you know that the fear is not real yet, it must be honored in order to it to lose its power.

Think of running through fear like running through the sprinkler that keeps hitting the sidewalk.  You move lightening fast so you don’t keep yourself as dry as possible.

How does one run through fear?

You talk back to your fear and you get FIT.

Getting FIT has less to do with moving and everything to do with living:

 

F = Focus What the heck do you want?  Not what you don’t want but what you want.  Keep your eye right there on your vision.

 

I = Implement: As you look at your vision; implement for today.  What teeny tiny step can you do today to move your vision forward?

 

T= Tweak; Make adjustments as you go; the only wrong action is no action at all!  Notice how your action responded to your vision.  If it didn’t give you the desired result; then just adjust.  Judgments are forbidden

 

FAILURE IS IMPOSSIBLE WHEN YOU ARE FIT.

 

I realized that I was not practicing what I was preaching and the first step to running through your fears is to talk back while using the FIT Formula.  After each talk back I have noted which piece of the FIT formula was to make that talk back a reality.

 

Fear #1: What if cutting out grains flips my compulsive eating on?

Talk Back: Then you add it back in.  No biggie.  Quit being so afraid of compulsively eating.  Yes, it did nearly ruin you but you are not that person anymore.  Quit giving it so much power.  What if cutting out grains flipped your compulsive eating switch off?  Right  now that switch is in the neutral position.  What if the grains where contributing to your cravings for starches and sugar?  What if those grains were unbalancing your hormones and contributing to your mood swings? You won’t know until you finally take the plunge away from grains. (Focus).

Fear #2: Letting go of grains for the rest of my life seems so extreme!

Talk Back: Who says you have to let them go forever.  You can just choose to let go of them today and then make that decision again tomorrow. You don’t have forever; you only have today and although you have a vision for the future you only have today for action.  So make a day by day decision. (Implement)

Fear #3: What if I adopt Paleo and then eat some grains and gain weight? 

Talk Back:  If Paleo is the right way for you to eat, you will feel great, have energy and the weight release will be simple.  Sometimes, you may eat some grains and gain a few pounds.  That is only evidence that Paleo is working for you.  If you gain weight so what?  You can let it go just as easily as it came on. Weight gain is not the worse thing in the world, it is just a message.  Quit giving the extra pounds so much power and they will lose their power over you and leave. (Tweak)

 

After my talk back session I became even more fit by using the FIT formula to move towards Paleo:

 

FOCUS: From my research, I found that Paleo would help with my digestive issues and allow me to let go of a few pounds.

 

IMPLEMENT: For today I choose to let go of grains and make sure that my life supported this decision by planning and surrounding myself with foods that fill me, satisfy me,  nourish me and give me energy.

 

TWEAK: Each night I will note how my body is adjusting.  Do I feel better?  How am I sleeping?  How do my clothes fit.  After 90 days I will do a re-assessment.  Sometimes I may cheat on Paleo.  I refuse to judge myself or mentally punch my face.  Instead I will be curious and continue on my path.

Now I want to hear from you. In the comment section, let me know what you are afraid of and how can you use the FIT formula to run through that fear?

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