Maureen Wielansky Self care Expert

” When we compare ourselves to others we are trying to match our weaknesses to their strengths.

Not sure who said that but someone besides me did.  If you know the author; please leave him/her name in the comment section.

Comparing is a massive waste of precious energy because you just can’t compare apples to oranges.

You are the apple and that person that you are striving to be “like” or competing against is the orange.

The only result you will receive is stress.  You may win a battle or two; you may even win the war but at what cost?  YOU and creating excellent self care are too priceless and comparing yourself to others puts all the beautiful focus in jeopardy.

I am so passionate about dropping the comparing and despairing because I am the biggest offender.  I know how horrible it feels to always be focusing on how someone else is so successful in what I want.

The envy keeps me from letting my own light shine.

The envy also leads to resentment and examining every facet of that person to find  something wrong with them.

The intimidation was squashing my spirit and increasing my waistline instead of my bottom line.

This year I decided to wage a war; a war of self-love where I focus on myself and cheerlead the success of others.

I have outlined some tips that are helping me; maybe they will help you as well:

  • I created this guideline: “Focus on continuous excellence while applauding others’ successes.”  This guideline pops in my head whenever I feel that twinge in my gut; along with this voice: ” How does she do that?  I could never do that!  What does she have that I don’t?” “Focus on continous excellence while applauding others’ successes.”    Then I applaud and place positive energy on the excitement of that happening for me too
  • Time and Energy are precious and they are limited;  If I am going to waste time and energy feeling bad about myself; how can I possibly step into my greatness?  Therefore I protect my time and my energy and as soon as I feel myself going down the Comparison Superhighway of no good; I set a timer for 5 minutes I feel it and then I say enough!  I may even write about it and then shred the paper.  Allowing the flow of feelings is super healthy but we also need to be able to say times up!
  • Do something nice for the object of your comparing. Send a card or give an anonymous donation in their name.  Giving to them may even set you free.
  • Create a one person competition; you vs you.  Keep your head down and focus on your goals.  Measure, tweak and keep moving.  You just may find yourself past up your object of envy without even noticing! That is just a side benefit!  Don’t forget to reward yourself.  P.S.: if you are working towards releasing weight DO NOT MAKE YOUR WEIGHT THE GOAL; this kind of goal setting put the scale in control of your happiness.  Instead; strive for some consistent action that you desire, such as doing a pull up unassisted, being able to jog for 10 minutes, or trying a new recipe each week.

Am I alone here on comparing and despairing island?  Leave me a comment and let me know how you handle competition and measuring yourself against others.

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