Recently, I was talking to one of my sisters. She is a gorgeous, powerful and amazing African American and she was perplexed. She shared that she had started to have body image issues for the first time.

 

I told her that she needed to get away from the white girls!

 

All kidding aside, it is a known fact the women of color love their bodies and hug their curves.

 

According to a an article on The Grio, African American Women are heavier and have higher self-esteem than their Caucasian Sisters.

 

The article goes on to share why. For one, songs such as the Commodores, Brick House idealizes the curvy figure.  In addition, these powerful sisters see their curves as an ASSet with role models such as Oprah Winfrey, Queen Latifah and Jennifer Hudson who all released weight without releasing their curves.

And then there is:

Kim Kardashian.  She became famous for a sex tape and her butt.  Now with her pregnancy, the captions under the photos are just cruel!

 

 

So, we want curves but still be skinny. No wonder our society has body image issues!

 

These body image issues are dysfunctional, exhausting and keeps us from getting in our groove and rocking what God gave us.

 

I have had enough so I created this Secret Recipe to Killing Your Body Image Issues and Getting You In the Groove:

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 cup of acceptance:  no body’s body is perfect; so rock what you got because no one’s got it like you.
• 1 cup of personal responsibility: if you have dreams of a smaller dress size then take responsibility for arriving at your bigger dress size.
• 1. cup of pure self-love: This secret ingredient will rev your true body out of hiding.
• 3 cups of patience: You don’t control your rate of transformation and that includes the scale. When you do your part the body will change in its own good time.
• 4 cups of clarity: Know exactly the forces that you control and the forces that you don’t then detach from the don’t control and focus on the do controls.

DIRECTIONS TO KILLING YOUR BODY IMAGE ISSUES:

• Honor your body with a food plan that honors it and share with your body that you love it so much that you consume the highest quality of nutrients available at that moment.
• Honor your body with an exercise plan that honors it and your lifestyle. Do what you can everyday and thank you body for giving you the power to work it.
• Honor your body with clothes that fit you today: purchase clothes that fit now and show off your ASSets.  Let go of the size or that they may get too big; GOOD; isn’t that what you want?  Also, you are not giving up by purchasing new clothes but rather, taking responsibility for your body.
• Honor your body with rest and relaxation.  Splurge on a spa treatment each month and do something sweet everyday for your body.
• Laugh: get a giggle out of society’s dysfunctional view on body image and be at peace that your body image issues may never leave but they will no longer rule your moods or create fatigue in your life.

Let’s chat about this:   what are your thoughts?  Does the idea of acceptance feel like giving up?  Do share in the comment section.

While looking at pictures this past week, I was smacked with some big body image issues.

10 Years Ago I rocked that dress and I remember feeling fat.

 

I weighed 135 pounds and I was about 17% body fat.

 

Yet, I hated my body so intensely that I would binge and purge on exercise.

 

I was hating myself for not being a part of the Mom of the Bnai-Mitzvah weight loss club.

 

Most moms would be so busy getting ready for the big weekend that they would not have time to eat AND they had instituted a strategic and intense body plan so  they would look hot in their pictures.

 

Little did I know that my body image issues were about to explode just like my dress size soon after that picture.  About 6 weeks after my daughter’s Bat Mitzvah, I was getting dressed for another and nothing fit.  I cycled down with my body image and up the scale until 6 years later I weighed 200 pounds and I believe the only escape was death.

I did every diet, took ritalin, diet pills, had shots put into my fat, was hypnotized, over-exercised and visualized.

Nothing worked until something did and it was so simple and profound:

Healing my body image issue was found with a spiritual solution!

Like compulsive overeating, I will never be cured.  Some would say that I am labeling myself and they are right. When I admit that I am a C.O. and that I have allowed my life to become unmanageable, I feel such incredible power.  When I can finally surrender the whole mess that I made to a power greater than myself; well that gives me such relief and utter joy!

Looking at that picture above and the one to the right, gave me a great insight:

Instead of berating my body for not being 130 pounds, what if I was just thankful for where I am right now?

I remember that thought entering my head and replying: NO  I WILL NEVER BE HAPPY  UNTIL MY SADDLEBAGS HAVE LEFT!

 

According to a study done by Glamour Magazine, 97% of women have one negative thought per day about their bodies. You can learn more in the video below

Do you know anyone who goes around saying they love their body? Even if they do, most will not say it because they are afraid of being judged.

It is socially acceptable to berate our bodies and that language creates a neuro-pathway in our subconscious mind and thus Body Image Issues are born.

It also does not help when you are teased at a young age about your body. Even if it was done in fun. Those comments blaze another neuro-pathway just proving that we are not good enough.

After years of conditioning, it will take awhile to de-program; but it is far from impossible.  You need patience, persistence, tenacity and forgiveness not only for yourself but for others as well.

Does this mean that you just give up, accept and stock up on stretchy pants?

NO!

You follow the recipe that I am going to outline for you.  Stay tuned and come back tomorrow ok?

Until then, lets chat!  Share your body image issues.  I know that may take some courage, but please share!  Let’s blow the top off this nasty little habit and begin loving our bodies as they are right now!

You with me?

Then leave a comment, sister!

 

 

Stress and Sleep (lack of)  will ruin your spring and I just cannot let that happen.  I am all about you getting your sleepy time on schedule so you can enjoy all the ripe colors and longer days.

On Tuesday, I shared how stress and sleep have a dysfunctional relationship and gave you some tips on how to sleep like a baby. You can read it here.

Yesterday, I created a step by step system that you can use immediately. These tips will decrease your stress while increasing your sleep.   It is a free download that you can access here.

So today, I thought you might enjoy this video from Kate Schrup MPH and I thought it was very interesting.

What she demonstrates is so simple and you can do it on a plane, train or automobile.

Speaking of simple….

If you are stressed and sleepy; it may seem like the answer has to be complicated.

Think back to something that you overcame.  Got it?

I am sure the work was hard but was the solution complicated?

The hardest part has to do with letting go of your resistance and surrendering to the fact that maybe your solution is simple.

Can I share an example with you?

I am usually a sound sleeper, but during a stressful time sleep was not my friend.

I began to freak out which made me more stress and sleep became even harder to obtain.

So when I woke up, I would go downstairs and put the headphones on and watch TV until I fell back asleep.

I missed my workouts and felt guilty and mad with only increased my stress and decreased my sleep.

At first I changed everything around.  I moved mattresses, gobbled melatonin, and tried to go to sleep earlier.

When these big changes affected my stress and sleep even more, I knew what I had to do.

I gave away the headphones.

I took them to the Good Will store up the street.

I could not watch TV downstairs without the headphones because it would wake my husband.  Without those wireless contraptions, the TV had to stay off.

Even though it may seem radical to you; for me it was simple.  The lack of headphones meant that  I had to face my Sleepless in St. Louis Virus

It really is simple but it won’t be easy.

This simple salty activity may be a bit woo woo. You may think that there has to be a kinder and gentler way.

Just like I did; take your thoughts to Good Will and give them away and then try this ritual

Check out the video and let me know what you think!