First, welcome to my new home! I am loving how simple it is to move and groove through all the pages! I hope you feel the same.
My new tagline: “Guilt-Free Self-Care for the Modern Mom doesn’t mean you will never feel guilty about taking care of YOU.
YOU WILL FEEL GUILTY SOMETIMES; IT IS HOW YOU RESPOND TO THAT GUILT THAT DETERMINES IF YOU ARE FREE FROM ALLOWING IT TO RUN YOUR LIFE!
Your family loves you and wants you to be happy; but they also don’t like the rules being changed. I am not talking smack about your family; no one likes the rules being changed unless THEY are the rule changer!
Expect resistance. Expect the word “selfish” to fall from someone’s lips. Expect that you will feel uncomfortable. Expect that you will be judged. After all, self-care sista you are probably going against the dysfunctional societal norms of the Enjoli Commercial.
Yet, you have to do it because as I said in my free offer: “No one is going to tell you to go take care of yourself.” You have to be the one to stand up for yourself.
I have created some self-caring commandments. Read them over and then in the comment section; tell me this: 1. Which one seems like the hardest to implement 2. which one you will be implementing immediately (hint: revisit your answer to #1)
SELF-CARE SISTA COMMANDMENTS:
1. Rome was not built in a day; start small. Tiny steps will yield big results but only if you are:
2. Consistent: take action everyday.
3. Forgive yourself for mistakes, faux pas and slides down the self-care hill. No judging is allowed.
4. Communicate Communicate Communicate: Remember you are changing the rules; be sure to talk to your loved ones, co-workers and peers about your self-care game. Share with respect and know that you do not control their responses.
5. Chart your Progress: make your self-care measurable. For example; one of my self-care goals was meditating. I started at 1 minute daily and built from there. To chart my progress I use don’t break the chain. It is a fun way to make your progress visual. I have been using it for years to chart workouts, abstinence and prospect calling. It is totally free and you can set up multiple calendars.
6. Reward Yourself Sista! Charting your progress will give you visual proof that you need a gift for your hard work.
7. Sit in the muck. Remember, others are not going to be happy about you changing the rules. I promise you will be tempted to throw in the towel but I urge to STOP & REMEMBER: if you don’t take care of yourself; who will?
8. Say bye bye to the naysayers. Negative people will drain your energy and squash your spirit. LET THEM GO! What if you are married to a naysayer or you gave birth to a naysayer? Obviously you can’t just let them go but you can ask them questions such as ” that’s interesting; tell me more!” This sentence came from a great video by Power Diversity. When you utter these words with love instead of defensiveness your family will feel heard and treasured. Yes, you could use this phrase with everyone but that could get exhausting! The rule of thumb is if you don’t love them and you don’t have to work with them then drop them.
9. Carve out your alone time everyday. Turn off the electronics and just be silent. If the only alone time you get is while driving then make it work.
10. Get some sistas that are positive, fun and trusting. Women need other women to thrive and having some sistas that you can support and that support you are priceless. We are so connected with electronics but our hearts have become disconnected. You can change that. Start with a skype session so you can see each other and then move forward to spending some time together. Get on the phone and text a good morning sunshine, thinking of you.
I am here to support you; lets connect in the comment section and tell me which of these commandments are the most challenging and which will you be implementing immediately?