Maureen Wielansky Self care Expert

Self- Care Strategy: How To Toot Your Own Horn With Integrity

Toot Girl Toot!

I am miss humble and miss judgmental!

I cannot tell you all that I have accomplished because I can’t stand the thought of someone judging me.

And when I hear someone else toot their horn?  I feel this dip in my stomach; it just feels so wrong!

I am a humble person and when I hear someone talking about how they are the best thing since gluten-free bread; it makes me wonder….

WHY FEEL THE NEED TO TOOT YOUR OWN HORN?  Are you insecure?

Then I judge away!!

Recently, I have been getting my head stuck in that horn; not allowing any tooting to be unleashed and judging everyone’s tooting.

Then I feel yuck; I know it is only my insecurities.

I wonder why I can’t talk about my accomplishments; I guess in part they don’t really seem like accomplishments.  Anything wonderful that has happened has been the result of dumb luck.

Yet, if I don’t toot toot for me; who will?

If I don’t toot toot; how will  you know I can help you?

The childhood memories also haunt me; I remember bragging about receiving a Malibu Barbie Doll when I was 9 years old and my next door neighbor telling me that “people don’t like  a brag!”  So, I gave myself self-care by shutting up.

How long will I allow my childhood to control my adulthood?

The line is drawn and I say NO MORE.  One of the sweetest ways you or I can provide indulgent self-care is to acknowledge our gifts so others can notice theirs.  I have put together 3 tips that will help you and me toot with integrity:

1.  BAN I:  I have a facebook friend who writes “I love my life.” after every status.  Why?  Is it a way to convince herself that she does or does she want others to feel crappy about their lives?   When you toot; don’t say “I” or write “I” or record “I”.  Instead make it about others.  If it is on social media, visualize the person feeling good as a result of connecting with you.  For example, instead of saying “I am a 6 figure coach (gross,who cares?) say “Through my programs; thousands of women have taken the Indulge Yourself challenge and I love hearing about all their successes.  People don’t care about how much money you make but they do care about your impact.

2. ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL: Bob Burg is the master at this.  If he was going to be a private advisor to President Obama; he would say something like this: Speaking to President Obama today, thank you Michelle Obama for inviting me.  We know he is a big wig; but at the same time he is bringing up someone with him.

3. SAY THANK YOU AND DON’T SHUT UP!:  I have the honor of knowing Shelley McGuire; who is a 52 year old women thriving with Cystic Fibrosis.  She is a runner,gorgeous, extremely successful and fearless.  Whenever I say “Shelley, you are such an inspiration.”  She thanks me and returns the compliment: “Oh Mo, thank you and your strength inspires me everyday.  I love the way you are with your children.  Shelley didn’t poo poo my compliment; she received it graciously and  returned the gift.  What if  you don’t know the person?  Again, say thank you and if nothing else; it means a lot that you said that.  Or you made my day!

BONUS:  Embrace being perfectly imperfect:  I am not a celebrity lover but I do love Rachael Ray because she is not afraid to show her flaws!  She talks about cutting her fingers, burning bread and being impatient.  When Martha Stewart said that Rachel wasn’t a real chef; she agreed!  She embraced her imperfections and a nation loves her!

No one can relate to Miss perfect and trying to step into that role is abusive to your psyche and your body.

I am holding my horn ready to toot; FOR YOU!   Leave me a comment below about what you and I will toot a song for you!



4 Responses to “Self- Care Strategy: How To Toot Your Own Horn With Integrity”

  1. Dearest Maureen,
    YOU are a sparkle of life and positive energy to all who meet you! Your “realness” and enthusiasm for helping women take care of themselves (using all the wisdom that you’ve experienced personally and been trained in) are so very worthy of a big toot of the horn!

    I honor you and your path in life!
    Liz

  2. Kay Flanery says:

    Thank you, Maureen! This kind of tweaking of how things are said is exactly what I need. THANKS!

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